This is my latest personally curated list of groan-inducing dad jokes for 2026.

Welcome to “Dad Jokes Classics for 2025,” where the puns are fresh, but the groans are timeless. I’ve dusted off the finest, eye-roll-inducing gems from Dad Joke history—if cheese could tell jokes, these would be extra sharp. Grab your white socks and sandals, because it’s about to get punbelievable in here!

1. How does a penguin build its house?
   Igloos it together.
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
   In case he got a hole in one.
3. What time did the man go to the dentist?
   Tooth hurt-y.
4. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
   An irrelephant.
5. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
   Nacho cheese.
6. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
   It’s fine, he woke up.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
   Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. Why was the math book sad?
   Because it had too many problems.
9. What’s brown and sticky?
   A stick.
10. Why should you not trust stairs?
    They’re always up to something.
11. What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta.
12. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
    Because they make up everything.
13. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
    They’d crack each other up.
14. What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
    Roberto.
15. Why did the coffee file a police report?
    It got mugged.
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    They don’t have the guts.
17. How do you make a tissue dance?
    You put a little boogie in it.
18. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot.
19. What do you call a belt made out of watches?
    A waist of time.
20. Do you want to hear a dustbin joke?
    Nevermind – it’s rubbish.
21. Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
    Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
22. What’s black, white and read all over?
    A newspaper.
23. How do you make somebody curious?
    I’ll tell you tomorrow.
24. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
    It was two tired.

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