Check out these funny dad jokes for adults and kids: 100+ of the funniest dad jokes on the internet (that will actually make you laugh). I have personally curated the list. You can add a funny dad joke in the comment section, if you know a good one.
I asked Reddit first, to see what they could come up with. Here are some of the best ones from there (and I added in some of my own, that I remember:
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
“No eye deer.” 😂. - Little kid: Dad, can you put my clothes on?
Dad: Okay! (Starts putting on the child’s clothes)
Kid: No, put them on ME!
Dad: Oh. (Folds the clothes, places them on child’s head)
(Like all good dad jokes, this is harmless, silly and infuriating :). - How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.
- Making a belt out of watches is a waist of time.
- Hey, you guys wanna hear a joke about pizza?- Nevermind….. it’s too cheesy.
- There is a joke about an invisible train. You will never see it coming.
And then it hits you. - You know that joke about the broken pencil?
Nevermind, it’s pointless. - When does a joke become a dad joke?
When its fully groan 😂. - What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh. - what so you call a pig with three eyes?.
a Piiig. - Kid says: Daad! I’m hungry!
You answer: “Hi hungry, i’m Dad.” 😂 - How did the hacker escape the FBI?
He ransomware - I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I just don’t know y. - I hate my job. all I do is crush cans all day.
It’s soda pressing.
Funny Dad Jokes for Kids.
Pretty funny dad jokes, right? Some of them even made me laugh. Yes really. But true dad jokes may just make you groan, and that is absolutely fine 😁.
I have added a bunch of funny dad jokes for kids, below. These are child friendly, but everybody can enjoy them. But I also added a list of funny dad jokes for adults (and put them further down the page, so the kids can´t reach them 😁). Hope you enjoy them!
Did you hear the one about the guy who ate a frog? He’s probably going to croak.
Did you hear about the octopus that held up a bank? It was an armed robbery.
What do you call a cold puppy? A chili dog.
I put my old car in reverse and thought, “Wow, this really takes me back.”
I lost 25% of my roof last night…oof.
I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed!
I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Why did the car take a nap? It was tired.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
I used to be able to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.
I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.
Mom texted me to say our Italian restaurant is out of pasta, and now we’re penneless.
I can tell when you’re lying just by looking at you. I can also tell when you’re standing.
My dream job is to clean mirrors, because I can really see myself doing that.
If a pig loses its voice, does it become disgruntled?
Two peanuts went walking down the street. One was assaulted.
I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
I finally watched that documentary on clocks. It was about time.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins — I couldn’t differentiate between them.
I’m reading an anti-gravity book, and I just can’t put it down!
I decided to sell the vacuum cleaner — it was just gathering dust!
I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
My therapist told me I have problems expressing my emotions. Can’t say I’m surprised.
I hate my job — all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he was too baroque.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet — I just don’t know y.
6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down.
Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Mom keeps asking why I have so much candy. She doesn’t know I always keep a few Twix up my sleeve.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet — it was clogged.
I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit — what a huge waist!
Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha.
Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.
Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
I love dad jokes, but I don’t have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.
My dog is a genius. I asked him, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
Whenever you get a bad sausage, it’s just the wurst.
I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus but geometry is where I draw the line.
At first, I thought my chiropractor wasn’t any good, but now I stand corrected.
RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.
Bigfoot is sometimes confused for Sasquatch — Yeti never complains.
Your mom and I let astrology get between us. It just Taurus apart.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology. I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.
A magician was walking down the street — then he turned into a store.
We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.
My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows — they’re making headlines!
I was once a personal trainer, until I gave a too-weak notice.
Mom says I have no sense of direction, so I packed my bags and right.
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.
I’d avoid the sushi if I were you — it’s a little fishy!
I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
Lance isn’t that common a name these days, but in medieval times, they were called lance-a-lot.
After dinner Mom asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill, so I sent him a “get well soon” card
Does anybody know where a dad can find a person to talk to and hang out with? Asking for a friend.
Funny Dad Jokes for Adults.
If you are a kid then stop right now and go to Roblox!
These funny jokes for adults require an adults brain. They are either a bit.. dirty.. or requires some additional knowledge. Sadly, I have removed the dirtiest dad jokes from list (this is a family-friendly website, after all). But I may make a list of the dirtiest dad jokes for adults at a later time, and link to them (if there are enough requests for me to do so).
Ok, without further ado, here is the list of funny dad jokes for adults:
- I went and saw my doctor the other day, and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why and he said, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
- I’ve just got a job making plastic Draculas. There are only two of us on the production line… So I have to make every second count.
- What does a robot do after a one-night stand? He nuts and bolts.
- I got carded at the liquor store and my blockbuster card fell out. The cashier said never mind.
- I got beat up by 1,3,5,7 and 9. The odds were against me.
- What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair.
- What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Snowballs.
- I saw a radio on sale for a dollar the other day. It had a sign that said the volume stuck on full. I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down 😁.
- What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees.
- How does a wiener go camping? In a Wiener-bago.
- What do you call a man with a two-inch pen*s? Justin.
- So a guy calls a swimming pool company and says, “I got a leak in my pool.” The man that answered the phone says, “Well, go ahead.”
- What do French people call the internet? Oui-fi.
- “Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine.””
- “My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower. He has serious selfie steam issues.”
- “We just found out Grandpa is now addicted to Viagra. Nobody is taking it harder than Grandma.”
Ok, thats is for now 😁. Check out my 300+ main Dad Jokes page, and the Best Dad Jokes of 2025 page, for more good old dad jokey fun 😁.
Feel free, to add some funny dad jokes in the comment section, and I will approve them in a few days.