Dad Jokes about Marriage for 2025.
This is my latest personally curated list of amazingly bad and funny dad jokes for 2025.
As a married dad, I’ve learned two things: how to properly load a dishwasher (according to my wife, I’m still learning), and how to craft top-tier marriage dad jokes. So, buckle up for the 2025 list of Dad Jokes about Marriage—because laughter is the secret ingredient in our “happily ever after” (well, that and never touching the thermostat).
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Why do couples go to the gym?
Because they want their relationship to work out! -
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down. -
My wife said I was immature.
I just told her to get out of my fort. -
Whenever I get a headache, what does the bottle say to do?
Take two aspirin and keep away from children, just like the bottle says. -
Why is marriage like a nice suit?
You only get into it if you’re absolutely sure and sometimes it needs alterations. -
My wife asked me to pass her lip balm. What happened?
I gave her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me. -
I asked my wife if we could change positions tonight. What did she say?
She said, “Sure, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.” -
What is marriage?
A relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband. -
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. What did she say?
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens. -
Love is blind, but what is marriage?
An eye-opener. -
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then what happened?
Then we met. -
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. What did she do?
She gave me a hug. -
I bought my wife a refrigerator for our anniversary. What am I excited for?
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it. -
My wife says I only have two faults. What are they?
I don’t listen, and something else… -
Why does marriage let you annoy someone?
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. -
I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary. What did I get her?
She said, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So, I got her nothing. -
My wife accused me of being a transvestite. What did I do?
So, I packed her things and left. -
Our marriage is perfect. Why?
She doesn’t want to and I can’t. -
My wife and I had a huge argument last week. How does she stay so calm during these things?
It’s unnerving. - What does a successful marriage require?
Falling in love many times, always with the same person, who just happens to be really good at finding your lost socks.
We’d love to hear from you! Drop your thoughts or share your favorite joke in the comments below—let’s spread some laughter together!